All Out Of Tears
All Out Of Tears By Amanda Francey
“My soaring spirit trapped inside a torture chamber that is my body.”
For my seven year sickiversary last year, I decided to write Part One of my story, I caught a virus and never recovered. It begins the weekend prior to the 12th of August, 2013, when I was healthy, happy and loving life, to being completely debilitated overnight. This marked the beginning of a long journey filled with uncertainty and vulnerability living with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME).
In the lead up of publishing Part Two of my story, I illustrated All Out Of Tears from my bed on my iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil, using my favourite mobile drawing app, Procreate 5.
I visualise my spirit, soul, psyche (whatever you wish to call that part of self that has meaning) as an eagle. When you look into my eye, you will see an eagle soaring, unable to escape the body that imprisons it. The water represents seven years worth of tears.
It has been over eight months since I published Part Two along with my illustration, All Out of Tears, and I have yet to finish Part Three. My neurological symptoms make it very difficult. I can only spend a short time each week researching or writing. Even reading a book, writing an email, filling out a form or writing a list is a huge struggle for me, all the while rapidly depleting my energy.
I’m very close to completing Part Three of my article, which I hope to publish by May 12th for ME Awareness Week. I feel Part Three is the most important chapter as it covers in detail the inexcusable reasons why there are no biomarkers or effective treatments to improve the quality of life of those unfortunate to be afflicted with ME today. Including details of: historic medical misogyny and gender inequality; the wrongful redefining ME as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS); the hijacking of ME/CFS by a group of psychiatrists.
The factors above have been described as “one of greatest medical scandals of the 21st century” by MP Carol Monaghan – thus stalling proper biomedical research into ME for decades.
Sadly, a percentage of Long COVID patients who go on to develop ME, may also suffer because of these historical mistakes and medical neglect.
Support Australians with ME/CFS by donating to ME/CFS research.